


a new feel

by waveydnp



Series: dee and fi [3]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Established Relationship, F/F, Gender or Sex Swap, Sex Toys, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 20:48:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15299730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waveydnp/pseuds/waveydnp
Summary: in another universe, dan and phil are women named dee and fi. in this fic, dee wants to try something a little different.





	a new feel

**Author's Note:**

> thanks as always to, you guessed it, mandy for helping me with this idea <3

“Fi.”

Fi grunts a noise of acknowledgement, too lost in the warmth and wetness of the skilled tongue working its magic between her legs to form actual words.

“Would you let me fuck you?” Dee asks.

Fi lifts her arm from where she’s flung it across her eyes and looks down her prone naked body at her girlfriend. “Um. Is that not what’s happening right now?”

“No. I’m eating your pussy. Big difference.”

“Well can you get back to it please?” Fi says. “I was getting close.”

Dee drags her tongue up along the line of her, all the way up from the bottom and flicks it at the end. 

Teasing. Infuriatingly so. Fi whines. “Don’t be evil.”

“You didn’t answer my question,” Dee says, but she shows a little mercy by replacing her tongue with her fingers as she talks.

“I don’t… understand the question,” Fi says breathily, trying to focus because she knows Dee won’t let her come before she answers the stupid question.

“I wanna know if you’ll let me fuck you.”

“I don’t— do you mean like, ah,” she sucks in a breath when Dee drops her head down again for a flattened-tongue lick. “D’you mean like… with a dildo?”

“Um. Kind of.”

They’ve been together a while now, or at least it feels that way. Eleven months may not sound like a lot to some, but for Fi it’s felt like much longer. She trusts this woman as if whole lifetimes have passed between first meeting and where they are now, having sex in a flat Fi gets to call her own. 

A flat that is, for all intents and purposes, theirs. Technically Dee lives in halls at Manchester, but she spends more nights here with Fi than she does there. 

So maybe that explains Dee’s sudden surge of desire to try new things. Up until now most of their intimacy has been stolen in bedrooms in family homes with parents and siblings sleeping on the other side of the wall. In cheap hotel rooms and bathrooms at parties and even that one time in the cinema. 

It’s always been good, so fucking good, but simple. Mouths and tongues and fingers, kissing and grinding and humping. Just their bodies and their insatiable desire for each other. Nothing extra. Nothing fancy. 

But now it’s different, they have a place that’s just for them and time and space to explore each other in ways they didn’t before. And Dee is really taking that to heart. 

And Fi loves her for it. She loves Dee’s fearlessness, the ways she throws her heart and soul into everything she cares about almost to the point of recklessness. But sometimes it’s scary. Sometimes it leaves Fi feeling out of breath, like she can’t run fast enough to keep up. 

Like when Dee stops midway through going down on her to ask her something she doesn’t understand but that makes her heart pound nervously nonetheless. 

“Kind of?” Fi asks. “Kind of like a dildo?”

“A dildo,” Dee says. “The strap on kind.”

“Oh.”

And there it is. Dee throws herself into everything she cares about, and ever since Fi moved into this eighteenth floor flat in Manchester it seems what Dee cares about is exploring every possible sexual avenue available to them. 

“It’s ok if you don’t want to,” Dee says, and her tone is less sure. “I was just—”

“Do _you_ want to?” Fi asks.

“Yeah.” Dee’s answer is so immediate Fi knows there’s no way she can say no. She wouldn’t want to anyway. If Dee wants something Fi’s going to do what it takes to give it to her.

“Then— yeah. I’ll let you fuck me.”

-

It’s not even a week later that a package arrives at Fi’s flat with Dee’s name on it. A rather big package, wrapped up tight and not giving anything away on the outside, but Fi knows. Even just seeing it makes her feel a little twisty and fluttery inside, and she’s not sure if it’s the good kind or just the scared kind. 

Maybe a little bit of both.

Dee’s face lights up when she sees it, dropping a backpack full of textbooks she’ll never read to the floor with a heavy thud and picking the box up off the coffee table in the lounge. “It came already?”

“Looks like it.”

Dee is already attempting to peel back the sellotape. “Can we do it?”

“What, now?” Fi asks, and— ok. That’s definitely the scared kind of twisty and fluttery.

“I mean. Yeah. I’ve been thinking about this for ages.”

“You have? LIke you mean since you asked me?”

Dee shakes her head. “Since like, a week after we started sleeping together.”

“Serious?”

“Yeah. I’m just… curious.”

Fi drops down onto the sofa to watch as Dee starts pulling things out of the box. Everything is still wrapped up so she can’t really _see_ anything, but still. It’s weird. 

“I don’t get it,” Fi admits. “What do you get out of it?”

Dee’s hands drop down and she looks up at Fi with a frown creasing her forehead. “What d’you mean?”

“I mean. I dunno. Is it even gonna feel like anything for you? What’s the point?”

“The point, you spoon, is that I want to make you feel good.”

“You already do,” Fi says quietly. “Every day.”

“I wanted to try a new way,” Dee picks up something black and-- and fucking strappy-- and gives it a considering look before she puts it back in the box. “I thought you wanted to as well. We don’t have to if you don’t want to. I didn’t mean to pressure you.”

Fi’s heart sinks. She’s messing this all up. “You didn’t, I’m sorry. I just don’t really understand, but that’s ok. It’s something you want and I want to make you feel good too. Even though… I still don’t understand how it actually feels good for you.”

Dee smiles, and pulls out something rubbery and purple that looks just way too much like a dick for Fi’s liking. “It vibrates.”

-

“It looks ridiculous.” 

God. She can’t seem to stop being a bitch about this.

Dee just laughs, stood at the foot of the bed, naked save for that… thing, confident in a way Fi will never quite understand. “You’re supposed to tell me it looks hot.”

“Am I supposed to lie?” Fi asks. “Because it’d be hotter if you were just naked without a dick strapped to you.”

“It’s not a dick,” Dee says insistently. “You’re not supposed to think of it like a dick. It’s a toy shaped like the inside of you. It’s literally designed to make you feel good.”

“Well it looks like a dick.” She’s on her back and propped up on her elbows, naked and waiting. It’s not spontaneous whatsoever and she’s trying not to dwell on the fact that she’s really not excited. At all. 

Dee doesn’t say anything. She gets that look in her eye that makes Fi’s heart flip every time, that look that says Dee is all she could ever want and suddenly Fi thinks this might not be all bad after all. 

Maybe she can stop acting like new automatically means bad. Maybe she can stop assuming she’s not going to like things before she even gives them a try. 

Dee crawls up onto the bed and Fi chooses to focus on Dee’s face, the way her soft brown curls brush the delicate skin that stretches over her collarbones, the way her dark brown eyes are set on Fi’s face. She focuses on Dee’s chapped pink lips and the freckles on her nose and her little brown nipples that are already hard as they press against Fi’s chest. Dee’s body is on top of hers now and pushing her down gently into the mattress. 

Fi can feel the rubber or the silicone or whatever it may be pressing against the inside of her thigh. It’s foreign and strange but it’s attached to the woman she loves, the woman who is now very enthusiastically mouthing at her neck, so maybe she could grow to like it. Maybe she just needs to get out of her own head.

So she puts her hands on Dee’s body, runs the tips of her fingers up and down all curves and dips of Dee’s back, sighing happily when she feels teeth on her right nipple. Dee’s not messing around. She knows exactly what to do to get Fi right where she wants her. She reaches a hand between their bodies and adjusts until the toy is pressing right between Fi’s legs. 

Fi is almost surprised by the way it slides a little, though she shouldn’t be. It shouldn’t come as a surprise by now that Dee can get her that wet that fast, but today it feels a little extra impressive. 

Then Dee leans down and kisses her, kisses her mouth and across her jaw and up to her ear where she whispers, “It’s not a dick. Dicks don’t do this.”

There’s a kind of whirring noise and then a breathy little moan escapes Fi’s lips before she can stop it, but she gets it now. She gets at least why Dee is doing this for herself as much as for Fi. The vibrations coming from this stupid purple not-dick are strong, strong enough that there’s no way Dee can’t feel it too.

“Oh,” Fi says. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” Dee breathes, rolling her hips forward and pushing the tip of the toy up to press right against Fi’s clit.

They stay like that for a while, Dee rocking her hips slowly and gently, never pushing inside but only against, and it’s so so good Fi could come already if she were to squeeze her thighs together in just the right way. 

She’s about to just go for it when Dee reaches down and touches her. “You’re so wet,” she whispers.

“Feels good,” Fi says. Her hands are on Dee’s hips, separated from Dee’s naked skin by the thick material of the straps but she doesn’t care. She couldn’t possibly care about anything right now with the pleasure building up so deliciously inside of her.

Dee’s lips are on her ear. “Can I fuck you, Fi?”

Fi nods. She doesn’t know why it’s necessary. She doesn’t need that to get off, she never has and Dee knows that, and she feels like she could come like ten times in a row just with this giant glorified vibrator pressing up against her pussy. But Dee clearly wants this and Fi wants to give her what she wants so she whispers back, “I want you inside me,” and Dee does it. 

She pulls back a little and her hand is there again lining up and then she’s rolling her hips forward but this time instead of a warm tingling shiver Fi feels a sharpness, an intrusion the likes of which she hasn’t in a long time. The most she ever likes is a couple gentle fingers and this thing is— well it’s a lot bigger than that.

And a lot thicker. It slides against her walls easily because she’s excited and she’s ready. It’s not like it hurts, it just doesn’t feel right. It feels too much like that time at uni with a guy she thought she liked because he had a pretty smile and didn’t make her feel like a piece of meat.

A nice guy, but still. A guy. With a dick, a dick that pushed inside her once and only once, and that was all it took for her to accept that dicks were just not her thing. 

It’s not a dick, Fi tells herself as she breathes against Dee’s neck and tries to lose herself in how much Dee is clearly loving this. She’s clutching Fi’s waist and whimpering into her hair, moving her body like she knows what she’s doing, like this thing really is a part of her.

Does it feel good? Fi doesn’t even know. Maybe if she could learn to switch off her brain she’d be able to listen to her body tell her that she likes this, that gentle penetration with a vibrating dildo feels good and is nothing like having sex with a man. That it’s still sex with her girlfriend, sex that her girlfriend happens to be enjoying very much.

But she can’t switch off her brain enough to say yes when Dee whispers, “Is it good for you?”

“It’s… fine,” Fi says. It’s not technically a lie. It _is_ fine. It’s just not _good_.

But Dee stops moving right away. “Fine? What does that mean?”

Fi can’t lie. Dee wouldn’t want her to and they’d promised from the beginning to always be honest with each other.

Fi shrugs, all of a sudden feeling tears welling up angry and confused with herself, a feeling of selfishness washing over her. She knows for a fact there isn’t anything Dee wouldn’t do for her, she why can’t she just do this one stupid thing? 

“What’s wrong?” Dee asks, concern bleeding from every letter.

“I don’t like it,” Fi croaks.

Dee pulls out so fast it actually does hurt a little. “Fiona.” She pushes herself up and sits back on her heels, making quick work of undoing the straps and tossing the thing to the ground.

“What?” Fi asks, lying there naked and exposed and feeling fucking awful.

Dee lies down next to her and pulls her close, pressing her lips to Fi’s temple. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“You were having fun.”

“It’s only fun for me if it’s fun for you too. You think I want to hurt you?”

“It didn’t hurt it just— felt weird, I dunno. Didn’t feel right.”

“You have to tell me shit like that, Fi, fuck.”

“I’m sorry,” Fi says and her voice breaks a little. The guilt is hitting her from all angles and she feels so stupid and embarrassed that she knows she’s about to cry and she wishes she could just run away and be alone. “I’m sorry I’m so boring and I’m not enough for you. I wanted to try and be enough for you.”

“Hey,” Dee says, soft and low, squeezing her arms tighter and stroking Fi’s cheek. “That’s not what this was. You don’t actually think that, do you?”

Fi shrugs. Maybe she’s being a little dramatic but the general sentiment is true. 

“You’re more than enough, you dumb cow,” Dee says and Fi snorts with surprised laughter in spite of herself. “I love you.”

“But you think sex with me is boring,” Fi says.

“I don’t. I love having sex with you. It’s like, one of my top three favourite things.” She slides her hand down to wrap around Fi’s hip. “Do you need me to prove that to you?”

Fi just sighs. Logically she knows she’s making this all into a bigger deal than it really is but she can’t shake the nagging suspicion that some day Dee will get bored for real. “I wanted to like it for you. You were liking it so much.”

“I was liking it because I thought you were too, babe.”

“I liked the vibe part. I liked it before it went inside. I was like, already close before you started…”

“Me too,” Dee says. “I was close the whole time.”

“I’m sorry,” Fi murmurs. “Maybe we could try again.”

“Will you stop?” Dee says, hitching her leg up over Fi hips and sitting herself right on her lap. “I literally don’t care about the bleeding strap on. I just want to make you come. Will you let me make you come, please?”

Fi runs her hands up Dee’s thighs, up her stomach to cup her breasts. Sometimes she still can’t believe the most gorgeous woman in the world is saying things like that to her, that a fiery defense on the internet led them here, to Fi being so in love it physically hurts sometimes.

Dee wants to make her come. That’s the truth, none of the baggage and insecurity that Fi is trying to project. Dee loves her as she is and wants to make her feel good, and Fi wants the same. She wants them both to feel good.

“I have an idea,” she whispers.

-

Dee helps her get it on. It still feels ridiculous, but something about it is exciting to her as well, in a way it wasn’t the other way around. Dee is looking at her like she’s excited too, and this time it doesn’t feel scary.

“Tell me this time,” Dee says sternly. “If you don’t like it we’ll fucking throw it in the bin.”

Fi shakes her head. “If I don’t like it we can throw the strap in the bin, but this thing is better than any vibrator I reckon I’ve ever had.” 

She takes it in her hand and strokes up from the bottom. It feels a little silly but it does something to Dee’s face that makes Fi’s stomach swoop. 

“Fuck,” she breathes, voice low. “That’s… weirdly sexy.”

“Don’t say it’s weird,” Fi laughs. She’s lying on her back again, propped up on one elbow and holding the toy in her other hand.

“It’s not weird,” Dee says in a way that leaves no room for Fi to doubt it. “I’m just scared you’re gonna get weird if I like it. Like you’re gonna think it’s ‘cause I miss fucking blokes or something.”

“Do you?” Fi asks.

“Definitely not.”

Fi strokes it again, just to see the look on Dee’s face, just to see her reach down between her legs and start to play with herself.

“Turn it on,” Dee whispers.

Fi does, and— fuck. It already feels amazing. It already feels a world away from how she felt about twenty minutes ago.

“Are you wet for me?” she asks Dee, whose knees are digging into the mattress on either side of Fi’s feet.

“Mhm,” Dee hums, her teeth cutting into the pink swell of her bottom lip.

It feels good like this for Fi, she can feel the vibrations, but they’re indirect and she gets it now. She gets why it’s going to feel fucking incredible when Dee sits on her and pushes the toy right against her clit. She gets it, and she wants it.

“C’mere,” Fi rasps. “Come ride me.”

Dee doesn’t need to be asked twice. She walks her knees up to straddle Fi hips and lowers herself so she can feel the pulsing of the toy. “Fuck,” she croaks. “Fuck.”

Fi says, “I think there’s lube in the—”

“Don’t need it,” Dee interrupts her, reaching down and holding the toy in her hand, rubbing it up and down the line of her lips and moaning. 

Fi watches rapt, trying not to move a muscle lest she come before they’ve even had a chance to really try this thing out properly. She watches until Dee lines it up a few minutes later and sinks down without warning, and then Fi’s not watching anymore because her eyes are squeezed shut against the overwhelming sensation that radiates out from her pussy and all the way through her body. 

She holds on to Dee’s hips for dear life and even in the fog of pleasure she registers that her fears and Dee’s fears had all be unfounded. It’s not a dick, it’s nothing like a dick. Dee isn’t riding it like it’s a dick, she’s grinding against it with seemingly no thought of anything but how good it feels for her, and that’s the hottest thing of all to Fi.

There’s never been anything hotter than watching Dee make herself feel good, but Fi wants to help, so she takes a few breaths and tries to bring herself back from the edge enough to be a participant. She pushes her hips up to meet Dee’s grinding and they both groan. 

It’s almost too much, the intensity of the buzzing right on top of her clit and the way Dee is leaned down, gripping round the back of Fi’s neck and just grinding relentlessly. 

“Is it good for you?” Fi asks. The most pointless fucking question imaginable at this point but she wants to hear the answer.

“So fucking good,” Dee pants. “I’m about to come.”

“Good. Come for me.” She thrusts up and Dee gasps, biting down into Fi’s shoulder and squeezing Fi’s hips hard with her knees.

Fi stills, feeling pulsing both from the toy and from the trembling in Dee’s thighs as she comes. When she finally retracts her teeth from Fi’s skin and unclenches her legs Fi expects her to climb off, but she doesn’t.

“Do you want to…?” Fi asks, but Dee shakes her head.

“I can go again,” she says, sounding utterly wrecked already. “But first it’s your turn.”

It doesn’t take more than a minute. She comes with her hands gripping Dee’s ass and their lips crushed together and her head spins with the force of it.

“Can you go again too?” Dee asks, a playful glint in her eye.

Fi nods, though she reckons another orgasm like that might actually kill her. “As many times as you want.”

-

“We don’t have to do that again, you know,” Dee whispers, curled into Fi’s side, thigh resting on top of Fi’s. “I just wanted to try it.”

“We can,” Fi says. “I want to.”

“You do?”

Fi nods. “I liked it. A lot.”

“You’re not just saying that?” Dee asks.

“Babe. I came three times. You were there.”

Dee just giggles and buries her face in Fi’s neck.

“Not all the time though,” Fi murmurs. “I still like it best when it’s just… simple. Just us.”

Dee nods. “Me too.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes you spork,” Dee laughs. “Now shut up, I’m trying to sleep.”


End file.
